How To Have Fun Social Distancing
We know. This sucks.
Being stuck inside the house all fucking day because a life-changing alien virus is spreading the globe seems straight out of a sci-fi movie. It's like we're living in Half-Life 2, or like the Postman featuring Kevin Costner was a documentary about our coming lifestyles.
Luckily being stuck inside means you have a lot more time to have sex, even if it's just with yourself.
Below are some products I recommend you try out if you're stuck inside the house with a partner, or even yourself, and you want to make the most of this CORONA SPRING BREAK 2020.
4. Shut them the fuck up.
If you're stuck inside with a fuck buddy, a partner, a spouse, or someone who gets turned on by global pandemic this is the ultimate toy. An Athletic Cup Muzzle it keeps your partners mouth at a distance while you have some serious fun in these serious time.
3. Upgrade your gag game
We know what every hetero guy thinks, "God, blowjobs are fun, but I wish mouths were vaginas."
You're in luck, now they are. Well, as long as you get this totally amazing Pussy Mouth Gag that turns yours or a partners mouth into a slipper, velvety fuckhole. You know you're going to love it.
There are few things in the world as wonderful as a butthole. We've found one that is absolutely delectable. This Annika Albrites Anal Fleshlight is top notch, A+, first-class anus and you will absolute love having your dick inside of it.
1. The TP Of The Future
In a world without toilet paper how are you going to clean up your hoo-hah when you've got a not-infected-with-a-lung-virus partner over? How will you keep your sex toys clean? Here is how. With these Anti-Bacterial Sex Toy Wipes from Aneros you can keep your dildos and your vulva clean and clear. Just make sure you stock up so you're not rationing out orgasms.
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